You’re a micro, micro man…

Micro, Micro Man,
I’ve got to be, a Micro Man
Micro, Micro Man,
I’ve got to be a Micro

Micro is the new Macho. In the month of Movember, how cool would it be to have a Micro Manager with a thick Macho moustache!

Awesome. Someone to tell me when to breathe. When to read each email. How to respond. My very own Micro Man will disempower me, relieving me of the terrible burden of decision making. Liberating me. I would no longer need to think, because Micro Man does all the thinking for me.

The best thing about having my own Micro Man is that if I were to do something well, the credit would go to him, standing beside me all the way. If I screw something up, obviously that’s because I’m too stupid to follow the instructions given to me.

The more Micro Men we have in the world, the more mindless idiots we can employ. By giving them a home, we will have no room for those troublesome, free thinking innovative types. With a Micro Man, I can leave most of my intellect and energy at home. It’s simply not needed in the office anymore. I would be so task focussed, without the distraction of solving problems, innovating, or doing anything other than what Micro Man tells me. Every day I would live to bring glory to Micro Man, carrying out his instructions with discipline and diligence.

Micro Man. The key to predictability in the office, with everyone following his instructions. Suffocate innovation, diversity and free thinking. Get yourself a Micro Man today.